Everyone has seen it. In two days on YouTube it’s already garnered nearly 7,000,000 views. Now, it’s time for the running diary recap of the downright hilarious Miami Heat Harlem Shake video.
0:02- We’re introduced to the Miami Heat locker room which has the Larry O’Brien trophy plastered all over the place (as if we were going to forget), highlighted by a large trophy in the middle of the carpet, with the word “Champions” running through the middle of it. We’ve got thirteen Heat players standing and sitting around in the locker room and as always, they’re acting totally oblivious about what is to come. But the lingering question two seconds in remains, where is Birdman?
0:04- Ah, there’s Birdman. He comes moseying in from off screen with a little hop in his step. I wonder what he’s going to do.
0:06- Oh God, Birdman is flapping his wings.
0:12- There has been a 7’0 tall man with a Mohawk and tattoos covering 80% of his body flapping his arms as if there were wings for 6 seconds and all the Heat players are focused on right now is getting a good stretch in. He’s standing in the middle of the room and no one has a care in the world. LeBron is just focused on staying loose for his pre-game dunk contest. I love the Harlem Shake.
0:14- Uh oh! Birdman is getting dangerously close to the camera right now. I think I know what’s coming.
0:16- “And do the Harlem Shake!”
0:17- And do the Harlem Shake they will! Wow, we have a lot going on in this locker room right now. I don’t even know where to begin. At very first glance you see LeBron decked out in a king costume (appropriate) right in the middle, absorbing the majority of the attention (typical). Right behind LeBron is a dancing disco bear, being played by Dwyane Wade, who is paying homage to his city, and rapper Kanye West. Chris Bosh is holding a gold boom-box while wearing a baby blue bathrobe and black cowboy hat. And it appears as if Super Mario has joined the party as well.
0:21- LeBron hasn’t moved from the front, but a few new characters are establishing themselves. Norris Cole’s pants are almost up to his high top fade, but not quite. Birdman is standing in the back left corner of the room looking intimidating as hell with a bandana over his face. And it also appears as if we have a man in a sombrero pushing a man in a Santa-style Christmas cap in a cart. This should be fun.
0:25- Mike Miller (sombrero and luchador mask) and Joel Anthony (Santa cap) have passed in front of LeBron, but that doesn’t stop LeBron from dancing like a maniac, making faces like a 6 year old kid whose dancing like a maniac, and still maintaining the edge over Birdman for MVP of this video so far. It also seems as if we have a horse floating around in the back of the locker room. You can’t make this stuff up.
0:32- The regular portion of the Harlem Shake video ends, but now some of the guys will get their own time to shine. To no one’s surprise, LeBron is first. And I’m not totally sure what he’s doing. It just looks like he’s shaking furiously in front of the camera, but I’m in no place to judge the best basketball player in the world.
0:35- Granted I don’t spend too much time at the dance clubs, but Chris Bosh is doing some kind of dance that I’ve never seen before. In bigger news, we get our first good glimpse of James Jones who will later be making a strong push for MVP of the video. His multi-colored Jeri Curl wig, overalls, high socks and outlandishly large and colorful tie is just high quality comedy.
0:38- It’s Dwyane Wade’s time to shine, but he’s out done by the introduction of Shane Battier: Horse-tronaut. I love it. Even in the Harlem Shake Dwyane Wade will remain in someone’s shadow. But in all seriousness, I love that Wade was the one who apparently went and got the costumes for the entire team. This makes me become 20% more of a Dwyane Wade fan.
0:39- Ray Allen (or his mother, not sure which one it is) is in a Phantom of the Opera mask and cape. James Jones is inching closer to the spotlight, and I just realized that when Wade (in the giant Bear head) is standing still, he could easily be confused for a psychopath in a horror movie.
0:41- Rashard Lewis doing his best mime impression is working on getting himself out of a box. He might want to work on his corner jumper so he could get on the court a little bit more.
0:42- It saddens me deeply that I only get to watch one second of a James Jones close up in this video. Someone on YouTube needs to make one of those ridiculous ten hour loop videos of Jones dancing.
0:43- Norris Cole can do just about anything with that haircut and make it look cool.
0:45- “It’s-a-me, Mario!”
0:46- Besides James Jones, this is my favorite part of the individual portions of the video: Birdman looking intimidating as hell with 8,000 tattoos, black bandana, black sun glasses and a Mohawk, making the usually intimidating Udonis Haslem look tame. It could be because Haslem is wearing a blazer, a fireman’s helmet and the WWE Championship belt around his waist.
0:50- The group together. Maybe it’s the current 13 game win streak. Maybe it’s LeBron James playing basketball at a level that has never been seen before. Or maybe it’s this goofy ass Harlem Shake video. But I’m falling in love with the Miami Heat all over again.