Super Bowl XLIX Preview Podcast

It’s Super Bowl Sunday, and if you get tired of listening to all of the so-called “experts” dissect the game, you should definitely check out two informed fans discussing Super Bowl XLIX. Paul Clark and I talk all things Super Bowl, including how Seattle got here, how silly “DeflateGate” is, if this is the most important Super Bowl ever, the keys to the game, and of course, Prop Bets! And at the end, we even manage to touch on some WWE thoughts really quickly.

Excited to listen? Of course you are! All you have to do is click here!


WrestleMania XXX Preview Podcast

With WrestleMania XXX only one day away, my cousin Dan Zambito joined me on the latest edition of the Captain’s Corner to discuss the pay-per-view, the state of the WWE, and the recently launched WWE Network. If you’re a wrestling fan with 70 minutes to spare, this is a must listen.

WrestleMania 28: Two Months Later

I’ve been to eleven NBA games, six NFL games, two MLB games, two NHL Games, thirteen college basketball games including the 1st round, 2nd round, and Sweet Sixteen of the NCAA Tournament and the Orange Bowl. I’ve been extremely fortunate that there are people who share with me a passion for sports, and for the most part pay for my tickets to these events. It’s now been two months since Paul Clark and I went to WrestleMania. Maybe this is an unfair comparison, but to my surprise, WrestleMania surpassed all of the aforementioned sporting events. After all, Wrestling isn’t technically a sport. It’s a show with incredibly athletic entertainers. It is their job to put on the most entertaining show possible for their audience, especially at WrestleMania, which is the biggest WWE event of the year. The purpose of collegiate and professional team sports is to win. It has nothing to do with putting on a great show. If a team wins a boring game, it doesn’t matter, they won. That’s what makes sports so great. You know you are going to get maximum effort from both sides to win the game. At the same time, that’s what makes wrestling great. You know you are going to get maximum effort from all performers to give you the best possible show.

Since 2002 I have forked over the cash to pay for the pay-per-view, recorded it on a blank tape and tucked it away to be watched later on. I spent 35 dollars in 2002, 50 dollars in 2011, and this year, I had to drive 15 minutes to Wal-Mart and spend 20 dollars on the DVD after my Aunt Mary spent a couple hundred dollars on the tickets, and my parents spent a couple hundred dollars on a hotel. It was definitely money well spent all around. In the past I’ve taped WrestleMania and every other WWE pay-per-view event I bought so I wouldn’t forget the results. WrestleMania 28 is different. I didn’t need to buy the 3 disc DVD set to remember it. I will never forget who won every match at WrestleMania 28. And I will never forget what it was like to be there in person.

The anticipation to WrestleMania 28 before the actual event. It started in a hotel room in Miami at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon, when Pauley and I were killing time. It was almost like we were two little kids waiting anxiously on December 24th to see what presents would be awaiting them the next morning. We each showered, put on our respective WWE t-shirts and waited some more. Finally, at around 4:30 we left the hotel and took the 15 minute drive to Sun Life Stadium, where my parents dropped us off outside of the parking lot. They could’ve told me that they were going back home to Fort Myers and we had to walk through Little Haiti to get back to our hotel, and then hitchhike home in the morning. I wasn’t really listening. As soon as I saw the stadium I zoned out and remembered the feeling of walking into an empty Sun Life Stadium 15 months earlier for the Orange Bowl. It was almost surreal. I had definitely never felt that before, and even though WrestleMania was entirely different, it was a very similar feeling in that you knew you were about to be a part of something monumental. As we walked through the gates of the parking lot, the atmosphere was similar to any big time sporting event you could imagine. People were drinking beers, grilling burgers and hot dogs and listening to music just like you’d see at a typical NFL game. Neither of us expected that. We kept walking through the mass of people and entered the stadium. Just as we did 15 months earlier, we eagerly approached our seats to check out our view. One thing that never changes when you go to a sporting event is the unbelievable anticipation of seeing the playing field, court, rink, or in WrestleMania’s case, stage and ring for the first time. Maybe it’s just me, but I purposely try to avoid looking out there until I get to my section. The same went for WrestleMania. Section 122, row 30, seat 21. Just like at the Orange Bowl, when we came to our seats for the first time, it was an unforgettable moment. Looking across the stadium at the always unique WrestleMania entrance way was something I had played out in my head for weeks. I admired the creativity of the columns around the ring being dressed as palm trees. And as the stadium filled with thousands of fans, I again got that unique feeling that this was going to be really special. It couldn’t have been more perfect… Actually, that’s a lie.

The good thing about getting to WrestleMania two hours early was we didn’t have to rush anything at all. Just like with the Orange Bowl we got to go in to Sun Life Stadium, find our seats, catch our breath, get souvenirs and soak everything in before the action started. Unfortunately, it was 158 degrees out in Miami on April 1st. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. The truth is it was 92 degrees out, but when you are sitting in a mix of a few thousand people with the sun beating down on your head with nothing but a WrestleMania program to cover yourself, it definitely feels like it’s 158 degrees out. For the next hour or so Pauley and I sat there sweating profusely, agreeing that it was the most we’d ever perspired without engaging in any sort of physical activity. Even though the next two hours were incredibly damp and filled with plenty of back sweat and swamp ass, they set the tone for the rest of the night. Dueling “Let’s Go Cena!” and “Cena Sucks” chants continued getting louder and louder as more people entered the stadium. Truthfully, calling them dueling is unfair. It was a very anti-Cena/pro-Rock crowd, so the cheers were definitely skewed. Out-doing both Cena-themed chants however were the Daniel Bryan fueled “YES!” chants, which were perfectly acceptable in any situation. After a “Daniel Bryan” chant would fizzle out, it was followed by a “YES!” chant. After a “CM Punk” chant would fizzle out, it was followed by a “YES!” chant. After a crowd-wide Ric Flair “WOOOOOOO!” would break out, it was followed by a “YES!” chant. When we were standing in line for souvenirs, a guy dressed like the Undertaker decided a “YES!” chant was necessary. Whenever the sun went down, the crowd participated in an overwhelming “YES!” chant. When there was a lull in chanting and there was nothing else to scream about, people just chanted “YES! YES! YES!” You get the idea. And keep in mind this was before the show even started. Once WrestleMania came close to starting, the crowd lost their collective shit. Even though those first two hours were spent largely sitting and sweating, it flew by. At 6:30, a WrestleMania pre-show began and we were treated to a pretty entertaining Tag Team Title triple threat match. No one paid much attention though. By that time, the crowd had run out of reasons to chant “YES!” and we were all ready for the real show to start. When ring announcer Justin Roberts came on the microphone and told us we were 30 seconds away from show time, there was a tangible feel of excitement amongst every one of the 78,363 people there.

“You ready?” Pauley asked me with a huge smile on his face. I thought I was. But it turns out I wasn’t. As soon as the intro that opens every WWE show hit the screen, a collective hysteria took over Sun Life Stadium. Just imagine 78,363 people screaming “RRRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” at the same time. That’s powerful stuff. Instant goose bumps. Then Lillian Garcia sang America the Beautiful, which is an underrated live sporting event moment. The jets flew overhead and the crowd went nuts. Then we were hit with the always entertaining WrestleMania promo video, this year highlighting the Once in a Lifetime and End of an Era matches. As it neared its finish and Flo-Rida’s “Good Feeling” started playing, the crowd again went nuts. It was the loudest I’ve ever heard an arena or stadium in my life. At this point I had goose bumps on top of goose bumps on top of goose bumps. We hadn’t even seen a single match on the pay-per-view card yet. I knew this was going to be really good.

Four hours later, Pauley and I sauntered out of Sun Life Stadium. After what seemed to be an 8 mile trek to Denny’s we sat down and had a late night meal with my parents. We told them about the 18 second catastrophe to start the show. We told them about the all-time great war between Undertaker and Triple H inside Hell in a Cell, and partaking in the “This is Awesome!” chants. We told them about the Savage/Steamboat style wrestling clinic that CM Punk and Chris Jericho put on. We told them about the incredible excitement that John Cena and The Rock elicited from the crowd. But my biggest take-away from WrestleMania didn’t have anything to with the months of storyline building or terrific matches or overwhelming pyro or anything like that. The best part about WrestleMania is the fact that I will always have the memories of my best friend and I waiting anxiously at the hotel. I will remember walking in to Sun Life Stadium and sitting in a pool of my own sweat. I will remember the YES! chants. I will remember the WWE opening and America the Beautiful, and the goose bumps on top of goose bumps. I will remember sitting back and enjoying an all-time great wrestling event. I will never forget WrestleMania 28.

WrestleMania 28 Preview

Most people have a bucket list. You know, a list of activities they want to do or things they want to accomplish before they kick the bucket. Some people want to bungee jump, deep sea dive, travel around the world, etc. I think it’s something that every person should have. A bucket list gives you something to look forward to, or at least something to dream of doing. It allows you to be a part of something bigger than you. My bucket list doesn’t consist of the typical ride a hot air balloon/go white water rafting crap that most probably takes up lines on everyone else’s list. That’s just not me. I’m a sports fan and I always will be. Sports have been a major part of my life for twenty years. I learned how to catch a ball before I could walk. Hell, my first word was ball. My bucket lists consists of going to an NBA Finals Game, a Super Bowl, a Final Four, a BCS Championship Game (Or hopefully, the final of a College Football tournament… keep your fingers crossed), the Summer Olympics, a World Series Game, an NBA All-Star Game, a Home Run Derby, a Kentucky Derby, a UFC Event, a Boxing Title fight in Las Vegas, a Stanley Cup Finals Game, and a WrestleMania. Somehow, thanks to my Aunt Mary, the stars have aligned and in just one day I’m going to WrestleMania 28.

Non-wrestling fans won’t understand the magnitude of what this means to a wrestling fan. They’d probably scoff at two adult males who are giddy with anticipation about a wrestling event. They’d be even more baffled that anyone would pay over $100 for tickets to attend said event. WrestleMania is the Super Bowl of wrestling. It’s the grandest stage in the WWE; the biggest and most hyped event of the year where fans are typically treated to the best matches, storylines and performers.  In a moment I’ll get to the card of the event, but there is so much more to be excited about besides the matches themselves.

15 months ago I was lucky enough to attend the Orange Bowl with my Dad, my Uncle Joe and frequent Captain’s Corner co-host, and my guest for WrestleMania, Paul Clark. I don’t think I can accurately describe what it was like walking into a completely empty Sun Life Stadium (host of WrestleMania 28 as well) knowing you were about to be a part of a spectacle. That was a moment. I gained some sort of satisfaction seeing that our quarto was one of the very first groups to fill in the stands of the stadium that would soon be holding upwards of 60,000 football fans, who were surely just as excited as we were. The story will be the same Sunday, when Pauley and I once again walk into a moderately empty Sun Life Stadium that will soon enough be packed with upwards of 60,000 wrestling fans, who I’m sure will be just as excited as we are.

My expectations for WrestleMania are obviously high. Despite not seeing the most competitive game in the Orange Bowl, my expectations were surpassed. Maybe it was because Andrew Luck, the most heralded college quarterback prospect since John Elway, was playing a brilliant game before my eyes. Maybe it was because of the Virginia Tech entrance into the stadium as “Enter Sandman” was blaring, just as it is for all of their home games. It was possibly because the Goo Goo Dolls put on one heck of a half time show. That’s right. I have no shame saying I enjoy the Goo Goo Dolls. Or maybe it was just the fact that like I said before, I knew I was about to be a part of a spectacle. It wasn’t just any ordinary football game. And WrestleMania isn’t just any ordinary show. I’m giddy to walk into the stadium and see the typical mind-blowing WrestleMania set-up. I’m ready for the show to go live and join every fan in the stadium in screaming their faces off. I’m ready to see Paul Clark, a 34 year old man, buy a Great White Sheamus t-shirt. Believe it or not, I’m excited to be terrified when Kane makes his entrance and I’m launched three feet out of my seat because of his pyro. And I’m ready to see if my expectations of the matches, not the event itself, can live up to the hype.

WrestleMania 28 features an absolutely stacked card

In all honesty, if Duke “The Dumpster” Droese and Doink The Clown walked down the likely to be extended WrestleMania ramp to the squared circle, I wouldn’t complain. It’s Wrestle-Effing-Mania!!!! Lucky for us (myself, Pauley, and all wrestling fans), this year’s WrestleMania is headlined by a quartet of main event caliber matches that don’t include the “The Dumpster” or Doink. Back in January, Sheamus– a freakishly pale Irishman who transitioned earlier this year from a bad guy to a good guy—won the Royal Rumble, and as a result earned a title match at WrestleMania. Sheamus decided to challenge Daniel Bryan—a Vegan who has transitioned from a good guy to a bad guy— for the World Heavyweight Title, which is generally less prestigious than the WWE Title. Despite featuring two up-and-coming superstars in the company and having a title on the line, the World Heavyweight Title match has been pushed back to the fourth most relevant contest on the card thanks to six big name stars in the top three spots and a general lack of knowledge/interest in the WWE Smackdown roster, where both men typically compete. Hopefully, Bryan and Sheamus are given some time to show that they could very well handle the WrestleMania spotlight and remain main event caliber talents in the company for some time to come. As for a prediction, it’s hard to tell whether the WWE will want to push Sheamus as a face or Daniel Bryan as a heel more. I would expect either a clean Sheamus victory—with an ensuing Paul Clark celebration—or Bryan to retain the title due to some sort of underhanded tactic, only to leave Pauley devastated.Next up is the WWE Title Match, where CM Punk defends against Chris Jericho. Back in July 2011, I wrote about the rise of CM Punk and how if the WWE played their cards right, CM Punk could be a super-duper-star caliber talent, on the levels of Hogan, The Rock, Steve Austin and John Cena. Since then, the hype has definitely died down, but there is still no questioning three things:
1- Whether you believe my hype of Punk was warranted or over the top, there was a two month stretch where he absolutely made WWE relevant on levels that transcend just WWE fans. It’s been a while since someone could claim that.
2- CM Punk is without question the best “wrestling” talent in the WWE right now. On top of that he is damn good on the microphone.
3- There is still time for Punk to reach the level I predicted… And defeating Chris Jericho at WrestleMania is a good starting place.

Chris Jericho returned to the WWE back in early January with the help of some slightly creepy promos that predicted “The end of the world as you know it.” I won’t deny that before the Jericho rumors hit the internet, I spent way too much time trying to decipher these promos and figure out who it was that was coming to WWE. When Jericho returned, it was with less than a bang despite such great promise and a sweet light up jacket. He didn’t speak for weeks, didn’t win the Royal Rumble (as most expected he would) and hasn’t come close to bringing about the end of the world. Instead, he’s verbally attacked CM Punk for claiming that he is the Best in the World, and for his straight edge beliefs. In my opinion, the build-up for this match could’ve been handled a little better, but in the end it doesn’t matter. The main selling point of this rivalry is that both men feel they are the best wrestler in the world. Luckily, the match will almost certainly surpass the build-up. I’d be shocked if this “wrestling match” doesn’t steal the show similar to Steamboat/Savage at WrestleMania 3, and Bret Hart/Owen Hart at WrestleMania 10. I say Punk retains the title, continues to build momentum as a top face in the company and Jericho collects a fat WrestleMania paycheck.

Now we get to the second ever Hell in a Cell WrestleMania match. For those who don’t know, the Hell in a Cell is an enclosed cage that surrounds the ringside area, and back before the PG Era of the WWE, it was the most brutal of all matches. Most of the time, it was the stipulation for a rivalry-ending match that left both competitors bloody and beaten. Since the PG Era began, it has become a selling point for matches and pay per views despite the fact it has lost what made it special in the first place; the sheer brutality. With all of that said, I expect the PG Era rule book to be thrown out the window for the third Triple H vs. Undertaker WrestleMania showdown.

Last year at WrestleMania 27, Triple H and Undertaker fought (a much better word for their match than “wrestled” would be) for the 2nd time on the WWE’s grandest stage, even though the promos and the build-up made it seem like it was the first time these two had ever faced each other before (maybe WWE is just trying to forget the horrible American Badass gimmick that The Undertaker used for a few years). Make no mistake, it wasn’t the classic arm-bar/head lock match that professional wrestling was founded on. It was more or less a brawl between two of the best from the previous era of wrestling that often time built rivalries around physical encounters like theirs. The Undertaker won, and maintained his undefeated record at WrestleMania, but as Triple H has stressed in the build-up to their WrestleMania 28 rematch, he, not The Undertaker, was the one who walked out under his own power that night. So now we have the ending of the trilogy between “The Last Outlaws” of the previous era of WWE. The kicker is Triple H’s real life and WWE storyline friend, Shawn Michaels, who will be playing the role as special referee inside the Hell in a Cell. Michaels himself has been previously unsuccessful at defeating the Undertaker at WrestleMania’s 25 and 26 . Combine that with his friendship with Triple H, there is a general belief that he may not be an unbiased official in this match. I hardly expect Michaels to remain unbiased in the match, but The Undertaker is not losing. Period. As much as I would love to still be a kid and believe that anything could happen in the WWE, I now understand that there are only a certain number of outcomes that are possible for every match. At WrestleMania, there is only one outcome in any match that involves The Undertaker… The Undertaker wins. To make up for the lack of unpredictability in its result, this match should be a genuine throwback to the original days of the Hell in a Cell match, which those two made famous.

Finally, we get to the match that was booked one day after WrestleMania 27. After a year of back and forth trash talk and heavy duty promotional work, it’s time for John Cena vs. The Rock. Regardless of how you feel about either entertainer, they are two of the most influential men to ever work in the business. And the WWE has made no qualms about advertising the match as such. The Cena/Rock rivalry, despite very few physical altercations, has been the centerpiece of the WWE for a year. Even in the CM Punk rise during the summer, one of his gripes with the company that he mentioned during his now very famous shoot at the end of Monday Night Raw was The Rock’s popularity and already being booked in the main event at a pay-per view over half a year away. Even though there will likely be a rematch or two, there is good reason why this match is being hyped as “Once in a lifetime.”

From an outsider standpoint, aside from Hulk Hogan, no WWE superstars are as universally known as The Rock and John Cena.  There is good reason for this. Aside from their side work as actors, they are two of the most successful, charismatic and entertaining individuals in the company’s history. They each helped usher in new eras of the company—Attitude Era for The Rock, and the highly criticized PG-Era for Cena, even though I think he could’ve excelled in the Attitude Era as well. They’ve both spent time getting jeered by crowds, even as they were supposed to be the good guy. Well before the “Cena Sucks” chants that so many WWE fans partake in now, The Rock was often welcomed into the arena with “Rocky Sucks” chants. Despite the fact that they are different in so many ways, they are also very similar.

It makes sense that ten years ago at WrestleMania 18 The Rock faced Hulk Hoganin an absolutely electric match The Rock won, while receiving some crowd hatred in the process. At the time, it seemed as if this was the metaphorical passing of the torch. The Rock was arguably the biggest draw on the WWE’s current roster, yet it took Hogan to make WrestleMania 18 worth talking about. The story remains the same ten years later. Since 2005 John Cena has been the face of the WWE, filling the void that was left by guys like The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Cena has gotten the treatment of the typical face of the company; Holding the WWE Championship multiple times, always being involved in the marquee feud, always selling the most merchandise and doing everything else the WWE loves. However, the crowd has grown tired of the Cena shtick. They’ve turned their back on the “Face” of the company, almost begging the WWE to make Cena a “bad guy” so they would likely have a reason to cheer for him again. In comes The Rock, who a decade ago took the torch from the original torch holder, Hulk Hogan. Now, The Rock, who still gets a bigger pop than anyone on the everyday WWE roster, will likely hand over the torch to John Cena… unless the WWE does something that they rarely do, and that is become unpredictable.

Regardless of how it ends, The Rock and Cena will surely electrify the WrestleMania crowd

The best potential ending to WrestleMania 28 is an ending that no one sees coming, and one that will put the WWE in a better place than it was before WrestleMania 28 began. It would be easy for WWE to give us a match that results in John Cena winning cleanly, shaking hands with The Rock, and the torch is passed that simply. It would be even easier to allow Cena to move on from this match as the superman of the WWE, retain his title at some point, only to see the WWE fans turn on him even more. The WWE brain trust needs to carefully evaluate where they want to go from WrestleMania 28. Do they take the risk of allowing John Cena to become a heel… something that many hardcore wrestling fans want, but a move that could potentially crush its younger audience. Does anyone get involved on behalf of either competitor, an action that could potentially tarnish a great match that had great build-up that was solely based on The Rock and John Cena’s supposed hatred for each other. I don’t have those answers.

Ultimately, what I am most anxious for is finding out what the “WrestleMania moment” of WrestleMania 28 will be. Maybe it is Sheamus solidifying himself as a face in the company. Maybe it is the masterpiece of a match that Chris Jericho and CM Punk will likely give the crowd. Maybe it is the throwback to the original days of Hell in a Cell. Maybe it is the passing of the torch from The Rock to John Cena. But perhaps my “WrestleMania moment” won’t have to do with the matches at all. Maybe, once again my moment will be walking into an empty Sun Life Stadium knowing with total confidence I’m about to be a part of a spectacle.

The Road To WrestleMania

Biggest news of the week: Paul Clark and myself will be taking our collective talents to South Beach… for WrestleMania XXVIII. That is 28 for all of you non-Romans. If you’re not a wrestling fan, then I suggest you avoid reading half of my columns in February and March because I will be so jacked up by then, WrestleMania will most likely be all I can talk about, you know, since there isn’t going to be an NBA season.

WrestleMania is still five months away, but that doesn’t mean I can’t speculate. We know one match on the card for sure already- The Rock vs. John Cena. No hype is necessary, but what the hell, I’ll hype it up a bit. They are two of the most successful and popular stars of the last 15 years. Multiple championships, multiple movies starred in (Walking Tall is the best of all their movies by the way). While being extremely popular, they are at the same time extremely controversial in terms of the WWE. How many times over the years have we heard both, “Rocky Sucks” and “Cena Sucks” chanted by the crowd when they were supposed to be the “Good Guy” in the match? There is something about each guy that makes a crowd turn against them. The crowd will be slightly pro-Rock since the event is in his home town, but all of the members of the Cenation (the little kids in attendance) will be chanting “Let’s Go Cena!” while Team Bring It (the more adult portion of the crowd) chants “Cena Sucks!” That’s if Cena doesn’t make a Hulk Hogan at Bash in the Beach level heel turn at Survivor Series in a couple of weeks. But of course, that will never happen.

It should happen. At Survivor Series, The Rock and Cena will be facing Awesome Truth (The Miz and R Truth). Miz and Truth have been the anti-establishment, there is a conspiracy against us bad guys over the past couple of months. They represent the bizarro-world John Cena. Cena is the WWE poster-boy. He sells the merchandise, he makes the kids in the audience smile and clap and cheer like nobody else in the company can. So logically, it would be best for the WWE if Cena were to flip sides and join forces with Awesome Truth on November 20th. Cena flipping results in the following chain of events:
A.) The Rock being an overwhelming crowd favorite at WrestleMania. This is a good thing. As much fun as dueling chants are, the storyline leading to WrestleMania would be much better if Cena was a heel, and The Rock was a face.
B.) Cena most likely gaining a lot of respect from the fraction of the audience that continuously chants “Cena Sucks.” I think the biggest gripe that most hardcore wrestling fans have with Cena is that there has been no change in his character over the last six years. I was once as big of a John Cena fan as anyone. I have the t-shirt with the spinner belt to prove it. And by the way, I’m still a Cena fan, I just think he should be used in a different way than he has been and most likely always will be. Eventually, Cena always winning and making people happy gets old. It’s basically Hulk Hogan version 2. And what did Hulk Hogan do when fans started turning on him? He changed the wrestling industry as we know it. Cena could do the same.
C.) CM Punk getting the push he deserves. I stated in July that the WWE was on the verge of something huge with CM Punk. They managed to screw it up. Right then Cena should’ve started making a heel turn with Punk gaining momentum from it. Instead, Punk got involved in a feud with Triple H that lasted about a month. It was like they had no idea where to go with it, so eventually it stopped. Unless something big is coming (a Cena heel turn plus a HUGE push for CM Punk), I’ll always feel like they screwed it up. And I’m not sure how. CM Punk has been on by far the best 6 month stretch of any superstar in recent memory. Best in the ring, best on the microphone… Best in the world.
D.) A storyline that the WWE hasn’t touched yet. From the top of my head, I can think of three huge heel-turns in the WWE from the Attitude Era on. The Rock joining the Corporation in 1998, Steve Austin joining the WCW/ECW Alliance in 2001, and Triple H turning on Shawn Michaels in the summer of 2002. That’s it. Basically, it’s been 9 years since something unexpected along those lines occurred. The WWE is overdue, and so is John Cena. Cena started out as a heel and quickly rose to prominence as the young, flashy and disrespectful rapper. Obviously, no one would take that gimmick seriously and Cena would get more boos then than he does now, but that doesn’t eliminate a Cena heel turn. Whether you love him or hate him, John Cena has done everything there is to do in the WWE. Why doesn’t he turn this around and just rub it in everyones face? If he screwed The Rock at Survivor Series, played the “I’m bigger than the WWE” card, joined forces with The Miz and R Truth and led a crusade against the WWE, wouldn’t that work? I’m telling you, it makes sense! So with all of that said, here is my hypothetical “if this was the WrestleMania card I’d shit all over myself, plus it has a shot of happening too!” WrestleMania card, plus how the event would play out… even though wrestling is in no way scripted or anything like that.

Divas Title Lumberjill Match- Beth Phoenix vs. Kharma
-In her return, Kharma defeats Beth Phoenix. Plus we get to see all of the hot divas.

Money In The Bank- John Morrison vs. Wade Barrett vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Alex Riley vs. Zack Ryder vs. Ted Dibiase vs. Christian
-Wade Barrett wins the match, more from him later.

Alberto Del Rio vs. The Big Show
-Unfinished business from earlier in the year when ADR’s side kick Ricardo Rodriguez ran over Big Shows leg in one of his fancy cars. Honestly, I had no other spot to put them in.

Mask Match- Rey Mysterio vs. Sin Cara
-Mysterio returns from injury, loses the match, takes off his mask and retires.

Intercontinental Title- Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus
-I almost put Sheamus in the World Heavyweight Title match instead of Orton, but Orton vs. Rhodes at WrestleMania means their rivalry has been going on for about 6 months. Too long in my eyes. Sheamus wins the belt, and makes Paul Clark very happy that he bought a Sheamus t-shirt.

World Heavyweight Title- Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan
-Here is how this one sets up: Mark Henry remains champion until WrestleMania. Randy Orton wins the Royal Rumble, guaranteeing him a title match at WrestleMania. Daniel Bryan, who has said he plans on cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase at WrestleMania also joins the match, making it a triple threat. Daniel Bryan wins the match, but immediately afterwards, Wade Barrett cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase he won earlier in the night.

The Undertaker and Mick Foley vs. The Miz and R Truth
-Weeks before WrestleMania, Mick Foley appears on Raw and lays out a challenge to The Undertaker. These two rivals have never faced eachother at WrestleMania, so it seems logical that the Undertakers 20th WrestleMania match is versus Mick Foley. But R Truth and The Miz come out and attack Mick Foley. This eventually turns into a tag team match. We’ll make it a No-Disqualification match just because Mick Foley is there. Undertaker and Foley get the win, the streak extends to 20-0.

WWE Title- CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho
-This match stems from the twitter war the Punk and Jericho are currently involved in, plus the rumors that Jericho will be making a return soon. With Punk champion after Royal Rumble and no clear challenger lined up since someone from Smackdown won the Royal Rumble, Chris Jericho makes his return and claims that if Punk really believes he is the “best in the world”, he will defend his title at WrestleMania. Punk agrees. We get a month of terrific promos and interviews that build this match up which wouldn’t disappoint. Punk retains the title, and continues building momentum as the top face in the company.

The Rock vs. John Cena
-For this match to live up to its potential, Cena needs to make a heel turn. It has to happen. Let’s assume he does at Survivor Series. Cena joins forces with The Miz and R Truth. He plays the “I’m bigger than the WWE” gimmick like I mentioned above. He offends the fans (even his young Cenation followers) in an attempt to get as many people against him as possible. The match at WrestleMania lives up to the hype. The crowd is electric and the stage brings out the best in both performers. Near the end of the match, Vince McMahon makes his way down to the ring and screws The Rock, giving Cena the win in front of a pissed as all hell crowd. This leads to McMahon trying to take back the WWE with a heel group, Triple H trying to save it, etc. etc.

I won’t be pissed. If things go according to my plans, I’ll have seen a stellar WrestleMania that reached its potential. I’ll know that the WWE is heading in the right direction. Plus, it was WrestleMania… how could I possibly be pissed after going to WrestleMania?